With Love

Today I heard some devastating news. One of my seminary professors has died. But he didn’t just die, he first shot his long time partner and then he shot himself. Every system in my body shut down for several moments. It wasn’t like how I felt when I heard about the massacre in Orlando or at Mother Immanuel. Those events made my heart race and my anger flare. No. This time my heart stopped and it felt like the world was ending.

I only had Dr Moore for one class, but it was a life-changer. He broadened my world and helped me find my bravery. Once when talking after class I told him how vulnerable I was feeling. During the course of the conversation he gave me advice I hope I never forget. “Never become a fundamentalist of yourself.”

I did not know him well. I never met his partner, Margaret Shanahan. I admired them both from afar mostly. Now I wish I had been more forthright with my interest in them as people. Not that I think it would have made a whit  of difference in the outcome of their lives … just to make a connection.

Dr. Moore was a hero of mine. I didn’t realize that until this morning. I don’t know why this tragedy happened but I do know that he is still a hero for me. This last year I have come to understand more than ever before that we are very complicated inside and out. The depth of that just increased.

#Death #Grief